Sorry I haven’t posted in a couple of weeks. I will be back posting in a few days.
Archive for November, 2009
I’ll be Back Soon
Thursday, November 19th, 2009Cloudy with a chance of Giant Meatballs
Wednesday, November 4th, 2009A 31-year-old man in Michigan faces charges after stealing an ambulance that had been left idling outside of a hospital emergency room. I don’t think this is what Democrats meant by the Public Option.
Nonni’s Italian Eatery in New Hampshire was confirmed by Guinness Book of World Records over the weekend as the maker of the world’s largest meatball. It weighs 222.5 pounds. The previous title holder to the world’s largest meatball - Rush Limbaugh.
Scientists have found that female Chinese fruit bats perform oral sex on male bats to get them to prolong the act. That is, if the male bats have an extra $50 bucks!
Scientists have found that female Chinese fruit bats perform oral sex on male bats to get them to prolong the act. After hearing this, guys everywhere want to be reincarnated as a Chinese fruit bat.
Scientists have found that female Chinese fruit bats perform oral sex on male bats to get them to prolong the act. And you thought it was bad when they left teeth marks on a neck? Ouch!
Mel Gibson’s girlfriend gave birth to their first child last week. It’s a bold move at his age but Mel has always been a “Maverick,” has a “Braveheart” and knows “What Women Want.”
Bernard Madoff’s longtime auditor, David Friehling, pleaded guilty to securities fraud. He claims that he did not know Madoff was running a Ponzi scheme. Really? You didn’t know?…..Instead of guilty, a better plea may be insanity.
Bernard Madoff’s longtime auditor, David Friehling, pleaded guilty to securities fraud. He claims that he did not know Madoff was running a Ponzi scheme. He also just found out that Madoff’s in prison.
Over the past decade, China has seen a tenfold increase in cases of syphilis. The economic boom has enabled migrant workers to make enough money to hire prostitutes. This is the new “China Syndrome.”
Over the past decade, China has seen a tenfold increase in cases of syphilis. The economic boom has enabled migrant workers to make enough money to hire prostitutes. After visiting a prostitiute, they medicate you long time.
This is It!
Monday, November 2nd, 2009“Michael Jackson’s This is it” topped the box office over the weekend. In second place was “Paranormal Activity.” Many people at the multiplex accidentally entered the wrong theatre, sat through “Paranormal Activity,” and didn’t know the difference.
The original balloon boy, Rush Limbaugh, is in the news again. On “Fox News Sunday,” Limbaugh said President Obama is “immature, inexperienced, in over his head,” offering the country “radical leadership” and laying siege to the economy. Limbaugh should work for Northwest Airlines. His mouth has just overshot where it should have stopped by 150 miles.
On “Fox News Sunday,” Rush Limbaugh said President Obama is “immature, inexperienced, in over his head,” offering the country “radical leadership” and laying siege to the economy. Or as democrats call that…the Bush years.
On “Fox News Sunday,” Rush Limbaugh said President Obama is “immature, inexperienced, in over his head,” offering the country “radical leadership” and laying siege to the economy. Then, over on ESPN, Limbaugh added “He’s also a bad bowler.”
A new survey shows that less companies are planning office parties this Holiday season. This may actually help keep jobs. Now guys don’t have to worry about getting drunk at the party and saying something to piss off the boss.
Police in Iowa arrested two men ages 23 and 20 accused of breaking into an apartment. The suspects had blackened their faces with permanent marker. They had guilt written all over their face.
New research reports that people who are bad drivers may be born that way due to a gene variant. About half the population suffers from this gene variant, the other half are men.
A government study to monitor state-by-state differences in sleeplessness has shown that West Virginia is the top state where people report a lack of sleep. They are sleepless from the embarrassment of living in West Virginia.
Bill Clinton attended the unveiling of a 10-foot tall statue of himself in Kosovo over the weekend. At least that’s what he told Hillary.
Bill Clinton attended the unveiling of a 10-foot tall statue of himself in Kosovo over the weekend. Al Gore never got a statue. But, giving Gore a statue would be redundant.
Singer Wayne Newton says he may retire. He’s been entertaining in Vegas for 50 years. He’ll find out if what happens in Vegas for 50 years, stays in Vegas.
Singer Wayne Newton says he may retire after his 50 years in Las Vegas. He wants to spend more time with his 7-year-old daughter. Unfortunately, so does Roman Polanski.
Officials in Florida believe they have found an alligator that escaped from a wildlife officer who brought the animal to his daughters school for show and tell. Is an alligator actually something unusual for show and tell in Florida? Is there a shortage of gators? That’s like a kid living in Washington bringing a Lobbyist to show and tell.
Prison guards at an Indiana jail are facing disciplinary action after a 40-year-old man, who was not an inmate, was accidentally trapped inside a cell for 12 hours and they didn’t notice. The guy was so panicked he had already started a tunnel.
Five Filipino transvestites on trial in Shanghai are accused of leading men into taxis or hotel rooms, inducing them to eat foods laced with sleeping drugs, then robbing them. That sounds like the worst lyric from a Christmas song ever……Five Filipino transvestites, four calling birds, three…
Police in Kentucky say that a 36-year-old man who told them his name was “Seven,” smashed a window at a car dealership because God wanted him to steal a Dodge Charger. This answers the question “What would Jesus drive.”
Police in Kentucky say that a 36-year-old man who told them his name was “Seven,” smashed a window at a car dealership because God wanted him to steal a Dodge Charger. Don’t you think God would be more green? Maybe tell a guy to steal a Prius or something low on mileage?
