Best of dailynewsjokes - December 2007

 

Japan’s top government spokesman said that he “definitely” believes UFO’s exist. >> He then added: “I know they exist because I saw one while running from Godzilla.”

 

 

In Seoul, South Korea an exploding cell phone battery is suspected in the death of a South Korean worker. >> Exploding phone? In North Korea that’s considered a “ringtone.”

 

An Arizona man accidentally shot himslf in the buttocks while hiding his gun behind his back.>> This helped police with the case - in fact it cracked it wide open.

 

A Pennsylvania man has been caught dressing as a priest and charging groceries to a local Church. He has charged up a tab totalling $1,800.>> To pull off a scam like that you need to have “the calling.” This guy just didn’t have what it takes to be a phony priest.

 

According to new research the diabetes drug Avandia may increase bone thinning.>> The only person who is experiencing an increase in bone….Senator Larry Craig.

 

In Key west Florida a landscaping crew about to grind a tree stump hit and broke a morter shell from WWII. In all they found 30 mortar shells.>> I’m surprised. In Florida, the World War II relics are usually found living in condos.

 

A new study shows that Chimpanzees can remember numbers faster than adult humans. >> I don’t know how much I trust the results. Everyone knows that chimps are referred to as “Cheetahas.”

Four years ago in NY a woman found a painting in the trash. It turned out to be an abstract masterpiece and sold for over one million dollars at an auction last week. >> Abstrct paintings can be difficult to decipher, but apparently it was a depiction of a pile of money.

The producer of the “Girls Gone Wild” video series has accused guards at an Oklahoma jail of abusing him.>> Ironically, the guards learned the techniques from watching “Girls Gone Wild” videos.