Posts Tagged ‘Alec Baldwin’

Steven Seagal, Lawman. Goober, Action Star

Thursday, December 3rd, 2009

Sorry I haven’t posted for a while. I’ll try to get back to posting jokes two or three times per week. Hopefully there is still somebody out there looking at this site, thanks for hanging in there. I’m a little rusty, but…

Action movie star Steven Seagal has a new reality show on A&E. It takes place in a small Louisiana town where Seagal is a deputy sheriff. This is what A&E considers art and entertainment? Steven Seagal as Barney Fife?

One film that has not done well at the box office is “The Men Who Stare at Goats.” Why would anyone make a movie about a bunch of guys sitting around watching The View.

A woman in Massachusetts says the face of Jesus Christ has appeared on her iron and is a message that “life is going to be good.” Or it also could be a message from Jesus to get that red-hot iron off of his face!

The Warsaw zoo has had two live humans wearing animal skins on display in a cage to spark interest in man’s caveman ancestry. It also teaches the locals how to save a bunch of money on their car insurance.

A German tourist has been arrested at Disney-world for telling an employee he had two bombs in his back pack. As punishment they made him sit through the “It’s a Small world After all” ride over and over ….

Alec Baldwin says he is ready to retire from acting and told Men’s Journal that “I don’t have any interest in acting anymore.” Now if he can only get brothers Stephen, Daniel and Billy to join the club.

Cockpit tapes of the two Northwest Airlines pilots who overshot the Minneapolis airport have been released. They’ll be available on CD for Christmas in a black-box set.

Sarah Palin’s Speech

Thursday, September 4th, 2008

Sarah Palin’s speech to accept the Republican nomination for vice president was watched by 37.2 million viewers. Actually those numbers could be inflated because about ten million of those viewers thought they had tuned in to a rerun of 30 Rock.

John McCain’s choice for Vice President, Sarah Palin, attended five colleges in six years before graduating from the University of Idaho in 1987. From each year in college she has fond memories ………..and a child.

Joe Biden was on the morning news shows in response to Sarah Palin’s speech at the Republican Convention the night before. He’s becoming so much like Barack he may change his name to: O’Biden.

DNA evidence has proved that a baby born to a Playboy Playmate is the child of comedian David Spade. The evidence was taken from the step-ladder he used to climb on top of her.

DNA evidence has proved that comedian David Spade is both the father of a baby born to a Playboy Playmate and a direct relative to the Mayor of Munchkin land.

Alec Baldwin said that NBC hasn’t done a (expletive) thing to help “30 Rock” at all and if the show succeeds it’ll be something of a (expletive) miracle. Baldwin would have said more but that’s all he could fit on his daughters’ answering machine.