Posts Tagged ‘Chinese’

Cloudy with a chance of Giant Meatballs

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

A 31-year-old man in Michigan faces charges after stealing an ambulance that had been left idling outside of a hospital emergency room. I don’t think this is what Democrats meant by the Public Option.

Nonni’s Italian Eatery in New Hampshire was confirmed by Guinness Book of World Records over the weekend as the maker of the world’s largest meatball. It weighs 222.5 pounds. The previous title holder to the world’s largest meatball - Rush Limbaugh.

Scientists have found that female Chinese fruit bats perform oral sex on male bats to get them to prolong the act. That is, if the male bats have an extra $50 bucks!

Scientists have found that female Chinese fruit bats perform oral sex on male bats to get them to prolong the act. After hearing this, guys everywhere want to be reincarnated as a Chinese fruit bat.

Scientists have found that female Chinese fruit bats perform oral sex on male bats to get them to prolong the act. And you thought it was bad when they left teeth marks on a neck? Ouch!

Mel Gibson’s girlfriend gave birth to their first child last week. It’s a bold move at his age but Mel has always been a “Maverick,” has a “Braveheart” and knows “What Women Want.”

Bernard Madoff’s longtime auditor, David Friehling, pleaded guilty to securities fraud. He claims that he did not know Madoff was running a Ponzi scheme. Really? You didn’t know?…..Instead of guilty, a better plea may be insanity.

Bernard Madoff’s longtime auditor, David Friehling, pleaded guilty to securities fraud. He claims that he did not know Madoff was running a Ponzi scheme. He also just found out that Madoff’s in prison.

Over the past decade, China has seen a tenfold increase in cases of syphilis. The economic boom has enabled migrant workers to make enough money to hire prostitutes. This is the new “China Syndrome.”

Over the past decade, China has seen a tenfold increase in cases of syphilis. The economic boom has enabled migrant workers to make enough money to hire prostitutes. After visiting a prostitiute, they medicate you long time.

dailynewsjokes May 19, 2008

Monday, May 19th, 2008

Paul McCartney is being criticized for having a hybrid Japanese car flown to him in Britain rather than sent by ship. It seems the mistake in shipment was due to an error in judgement by Lexus car company and not McCartney. >> A mistake by Lexus car company……I bet McCartney wishes he can say the same thing about his marriage to Heather Mills.

You know you’re a huge celebrity when your car has racked-up more frequent flier miles than the average person.

Japan’s tourism ministry has named the pop culture icon “Hello Kitty” as its choice to represent the country in China and Hong Kong. >> Hello Kitty, Goodbye dignity!

The Chinese are really bad at these translations. Hello Kitty does not mean Hello Entree…….

Oh, it’s just a joke……

Kevin Federline’s attorney is happy about all the publicity his client gets because to hire investigators to provide intelligence that the news media gives would cost him more than a half million dollars. >> Since when does it cost half a million dollars to find a guy napping on the couch.

A truck loaded with 14 tons of double-stuffed Oreo cookies overturned on an Illinois freeway. Both lanes of traffic remained closed while authorities removed the cookies. >> The first thing authorities asked at the scene is: “Got Milk?”

Barack Obama is angry at the Tennessee Republican Party for a video trying to portray his wife in an unflattering light. Obama called it “low class” and said “These folks should lay off my wife.” >> Obama is more like Bill Clinton every day. Bill Clinton has layed off his own wife for years.