Posts Tagged ‘New York Yankees’

Late Monday post

Monday, October 26th, 2009

The two Northwest pilots that overshot the Minneapolis airport by 150 miles told federal investigators that they were going over schedules on their laptop computers. Coincidentally, that’s the same thing they say when their wives walk into the room.

Finally there are answers as to why that Northwest Airlines jet flew 150 miles past the Minneapolis airport. Their first excuse was lame: They were distracted by a kid flying by in a balloon.

Finally there are answers as to why that Northwest Airlines jet flew 150 miles past the Minneapolis airport. But at first there was speculation that it was a stunt to get their own reality show.

The low budget film “Paranormal Activity” won the weekend’s box office with $22 million. After the success of this film, Jamie Lee Curtis may go back to Horror films with the sequel: “Paranormal Activia.”

The New York Yankees bought, I mean, won, won, their first pennant in six years.

Three pigs in Minnesota are said to have the swine flu. One solution to keep the illness from spreading is to turn them into “cured” bacon.

A man ordering food at a restaurant in Iowa City was approached by another man who called him a zombie, then punched him twice. The joke is on the guy who hit him. Turns out it really was a Zombie and after being hit ate the guy’s brain..

The city of East Providence, Rhode Island broke the Guinness world record for the longest strand of beads at 1,349.9 feet. Another record they broke. Most boring town ever!

Privacy and consumer groups are urging Congress to enact laws to limit what can and can’t be collected by online Internet tracking companies that follow consumer behavior. Guy’s don’t know what that means, but if it makes it easier to surf for porn they’re for it.

A new study by Yale University confirms that breakfast cereals marketed to kids have 85% more sugar, 65% less fiber and 60% more sodium than those aimed at adults. Taking sugary cereals away from kids may not be a good solution. The only exercise some of these kids get is digging the toy out from the bottom of the box.

Fossils from the smallest dinosaur in North America have gone on display at a Los Angeles museum. It’s about 28 inches long and weighs less than a rabbit. They may make a movie about it: “Jarrasic Quark.”

Two bar patrons in Wisconsin were almost hit by their own car when an alleged drunk driver slammed into the car in the prking lot and knocked it through the wall. It’s a great bar, but here’s a tip. Don’t use the valet parking

A female journalist in Saudi Arabia has been sentenced to 60 lashes for her involvement in a TV show in which a Saudi man publicly talked about sex. There is no justice. This host gets 60 lashes, yet the people behind The Jay Leno Show go scott free.

“America’s Best Restroom Hall of Fame”….Really?

Thursday, April 30th, 2009

To mark his first 100 days, President Obama gave a speech and took questions from journalists. When Clinton was President it was known as the first 100 dames.

A Japanese video game company has decided not to release a video game based on a Iraq war battle. The game was called: “Six Days in Fallujah.” It may have been too realistic. Once you get into the game you can’t get out.

The New York Yankees slashed prices by up to 50 percent on many of their front-row seats due to lagging ticket sales. When he heard that they were selling seats at 50% off Rod Blagojevich went into a cold sweat.

An Albany, New York arenafootball franchise has offered Michael Vick a contract at $200 per week. That would keep him on a very short leash.

Egypt is slaughtering all the pigs in the country as a precaution against swine flu. They’re jumping right on the problem - they don’t want to be caught in denile….

Pig farmers in Egypt thinks this idea really Sphinx, I mean stinks.

General Motors Corp. says it will force 1,000 to 1,200 underperforming dealers to close their doors and make the remaining outlets more profitable by selling Hondas and Toyotas.

First Lady Michelle Obama is included in People magazine’s 100 most beautiful people issue. And…Joe Biden got an honorable mention in the Hair Club for Men newsletter.

In addition to People magazine, the Somali Pirates voted her most Booty-ful.

The men’s room in the Hermitage Hotel in Nashville, Tennessee was voted America’s best restroom by “America’s Best Restroom Hall of Fame.” The bathroom also made craigslist. Larry Craig’s list.

A deputy sheriff in Florida who has served 21 years with the office has resigned after his wife and mother-in-law took his patrol car out for a joyride. If there is a mother-in-law involved can it technically be called a joy ride?

After President Obama heard this he hid the keys to airforce one.

A 70-year-old man in Florida was arrested after he threw himself on a beach to prevent the county from filling a hole in the white sand with brownish sand. Nobody paid attention. In Florida it’s not unusual to find a 70-year-old buried in a hole with sand in his hair.

Due to the swine flu outbreak, 20th Century Fox has canceled Hugh Jackman’s appearance in Mexico City to promote “X-Men Origins: Wolverine.” I bet his appearance would not have been canceled if the film were released by 20th Century Pig.

It seems the only American celebrity able to travel to Mexico is Arnold Ziffel.

Astromomers have spotted a burst of energy from a dying star. The blast was from when the universe was only 630 million years old. The dying star now hosts its own cable talk show and wears suspenders.